I know how you feel
by neonpancakesyrup
Summary: Annabeth is a damaged teenager who likes to cut Percy is a depressed druggie whos only concern is his mom and when hes going to get his next high.Both hate life both know exactly how the other feels.They are the only people that make eachother happy.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys I'm really excited abou this story it's going to be a lot better than my other story which I have decided to continue! Yes, I am continuing A Thousand Years because I read it all the way over again and I have ridded myself of writer's block. So just a little news on my decisions. Also this story will be written mostly in Annabeth's POV becasue it is more relatable. So enjoy my new story called **_**I know how you feel**_**.**

Introduction

I don't tell anyone that I cut. I've become an expert on the subject of keeping my arms covered with layer after layer of long sleeved shirts. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want anyone to know that I hate myself. I didn't want anyone to know that my boyfriend, Luke, is verbally and physically abusive. I didn't want anyone to know that I hate my home life. I didn't want anyone to know that I need a mom. I'm Annabeth Chase I'm supppoed to be stronger than this. I kept it a secret until my big mouthed little brothers snuck into my room before I got home from school and located my stash hidden under my mattress and told my stepmom. And now I'm on a plane flying across the country to Manhatten, New york from my hometown of San Fransico, California to a place called Prairie Lakes Rehibilitation and Recovery Center. To be honest I'm scared I don't know what I'm going to do with my life after my stay here. I'm supposed to go to UCLA I'm supposed to be smart, headstrong but how can I be that person if it died along with my happiness.


	2. Welcome to Hell

**Welcome to Hell**

_Flashback_

_"Annabeth come down here now!" My father had yelled as I was searching for my razors that I was sure I left under my mattress like I always do. "Coming" I yelled over my shoulder. I ran down the flight of stairs that led to the front room. "Hey, what do you need?" I asked casually pulling down my shirt. My stepmother and my father were talking in hushed tones on the black leather couch in the living room. My father turned around and looked into my eyes looking livid. He held up an object that I realized was... my razors. Oh shit! I thought. "Would you like to explain this?" He asked challenging me to deny it. "I-I-I dont know what those are." I said cursing myself for stuttering. I was never good at lying. "Mmmhmmm" my father mumbled "which explains why you are always locked in room music blasting and you always wear long sleeves-" I interupted "I wear long sleeves because it's winter and it's cold outside" I snarled "Oh please Annabeth we live in California." He took two long strides and fiercly grabbed my hand and thrusted my sleeve up I fought and thrashed trying desperatly to get free. My father gaped at my scarred and scabbed arms. They looked like I had been mauled by a merciless bear. My stepmom got up and gasped when she saw my arms. "Oh Annabeth..." She said as her voice trailed off. My body went limp I sank to the floor curling up sobbing. "Why would you do this to yourself?" My father whispered. I hiccuped before getting up and screaming at the top of my lungs. "You would too. You would if you had my life. I have a family that would be happier without me. I have an abusive boyfriend who's idea of a date is raping me like there's no tommorrow whispering that you love me and driving me home." my voice faltered and I started sobbing again then I whispered, "You would too if you didn't have a mother." My father hugged me. The longest hug I've ever received from him and anyone else for that matter. "We're going to get you help. You're going to get better. I do love you Annabeth. I guess I just have always pushed you away because you remind me so much of your mother. I miss her you know. I always will." His words were supposed to be soothing but all I got out of it was guilt. I feel guilty that I resulted to abusing my body. "Now go upstairs pack your things. Your leaving tomorrow for New York." I wanted to argue I wanted to scream in protest but was too exhausted. _

My flashback was interrupted by shaking. Someone was shaking my shoulder. I turned my head to see a woman around mid-30's sitting next to me. "Yes?" I asked her. "We'll be landing soon, just thought I would let you know you were spaced out for the entire flight. I was getting a little worried there you were just blankly staring for six hours." the woman said. "Oh thank you." I thanked the unknown woman and settled into my seat as the plane started to make it's decent into this hell we call New York.

When I got off the plane I headed straight towards the baggage claim. There was many people holding up various signs, one stood out reading Annabeth Chase. I sighed grabbed my single suitcase that contained all of the articles of my previous life. "Hi!" the man said he was a little to perky for my taste. I'm more of the sulking in the corner type. "Hi" I replied back with consiberally less amount of enthusiasm. "I'm Annabeth." His smile widened "Let me help you with that! I'm Grover by the way!" He grabbed my suitcase and started to lead the way to the exit of the bustling airport. I followed closely behind not paying attention to his constant babbling about how great Prairie Lakes was. We reached a van that had 'Prairie Lakes Rehibilitaion and Recovery Center' painted on the side in simple black lettering and a picture of a lily painted off to the right. He politely opened the back door and I climbed inside. He opened the trunk stuffed my suitcase inside then got into the driver's seat and revved the engine. His constant talking finally took it's toll on me. "I don't mean to sound rude or anything but can we please be quiet for the rest of the car ride. I'm feeling kinda pissed off at this very moment." I snapped in a cruel tone. "Yeah, yeah of course fully understandable. You know I was the exact same way when I first came to Prairie Lakes now look at me I'm competely happy. I mean look at me I'm glowi-" He sang "Your doing it again." I said harshly. "Sorry" The odd man named Grover mumbled and that was the last word he said for the entire hour car ride to my eternal hell.

Eventually we pulled up to a large building. It was creepy, it looked like a haunted asylum you would see on the ghost shows they play on the Travel Channel all the time. Three people stood outside the front doors in coats and scarves looking like they were freazing their asses off. Grover opened the door for me and I got out. The cold nipping at my uncovered face and hands. I took a deep breath and mentally told myself it was only a month here. I walked towards the people standing there unmoving, like statues.

"You must be Annabeth Chase," I woman in her early 40's with brown hair and warm brown eyes squealed and walked fastly towards me grasping my hands "I'm Dr. Scarpetta, I'm Prairie Lake's psychiatrist. I help people find out their mental illness. I've looked through your files and I'm pretty sure that you are clinically depressed. Anyways," She huffed "we'll talk about this later. I would like you to meet Dr. Bolton he is our phsycologist here. He is very good at what he does." Dr. Bolton looked like he would rather be somewhere else. He rolled his eyes and stepped forward, "I'm John just John don't call me Dr. Bolton it's too formal. Formality makes me want to barf. Like Sheryl already rudely introduced me, I'm the psychologist here which is just a fancy word for finding out what the hell is wrong with your life." he finished. I cracked a smile, a genuine smile! I hate Dr. Scarpetta already, but Dr. Bolton I might be able to stand and not have the urge to punch in the face after 10 minutes of socializing. "Oh, Annabeth this is Stacy," Dr. Scarpetta poitned to a pretty girl in her 20's who smiled generously. "We have already talked to your parents about your arrangments. You will be staying here for a-" I interrupted "They already spoke to me about the arrangments. Honestly all I want to do right now is go and freshen up before dinner. That'll help a lot thank you." I smiled my nice and fake sweet smile. Dr. Bolton chuckled and Dr. Scarpetta looked at him as though she were going to rip his head off. "Of course honey, Stacy and Grover will escort you." She whispered something to Stacy who snickered into her hand and nodded her head.

Grover started to lug my luggage up the front steps while Stacy walked towards me grabbed my wrist and all but dragged me up to the entrance. I followed, rolling my eyes the entire way at her pettiness. Once we got inside I realized how cold I was standing outside. I shivered while I followed again alongside Stacy and Grover to the elvator. The doors dinged and opened. Stacy smiled at me and started to talk sternly. "Here you will have to keep your dorm clean. We will not accept any type of mess. You will have up to two roomates. In your case you have one, her name is Mia. Everyone here is the same we will not tolerate any bullying in any shape or form. You will be staying in the teenager wing of our building. There are kids there who are going through the same things you are you. You will meet many friends, many enemies. Every week there will be group sessions that you are obligated to attend. Also, along with group treatment you will have to attend two weekly appointments with Dr. Scarpetta and Dr. Bolton. Many people choose this facility because your first week of stay we allow you to continue your habits but the second week they will be confiscated and hopefully you will never be tempted again." We were rounding corner after corner. I was glad that I was able to keep my blades for another week. All I want to do right now is curl up in a corner and make more scars. Stacy smiled sweetly as she knocked on a door that read 2B and opened it immediatly after. '_So much for privacy'_ I thought. The door swung open to show a girl talking to herself. "Schizophrenia." Stacy whispered. _Great! I get the chick that talks to herself._ "No! I'm tired of your lies! I can't believe you cheated on me again with that slut!" Mia screamed at thin air. Stacy cleared her throat right as Grover walked in with my suitcase. Mia swirled around, "What! What do you want we're kind of in a moment here!" Stacy put that sweet smile on again and straightened Mia's bedsheet. I assumed it was Mia's bed because of all the pictures surrounding it. "I see, honey have you been taking the medication that Dr. Scarpetta has prescribed you." by then Grover had dumped my suitcase next to my bed and ran off leaving me just standing there awkwadly trying to focus on anything else but the crazy lady in front of me.

Mia let out an exasperated sigh. "No." Mia grumbled. Why the hell didn't she lie! If that old bat thinks that she can put me on meds she's going to get her ass handed to her. "Ok well why don't you take that honey. Austin is not real just a figment of your disease." Stacy opened the drawer on the bedside table and pulled out an obnoxious colored orange bottle filled with blue pills. "Now go get a glass of water." Stacy's voice was dripping with fake concern. It made me want to vomit. Mia shuffled her feet to the bathroom located off to the side of the room. Stacy smiled at me, though she wasn't showing her teeth so it looked more like a grimace. Mia reappeared and took the two blue pills out of Stacy's hand and popped them in her mouth swallowing it down with a big gulp of water. "Sorry about that. I go a little cookoo somtimes but of course all of us do. I'm Mia." I smiled at her. "I'm Annabeth." I shook her hand and my sleeve slipped us passed my wrists. I pulled away quickly pulling my sleeve down and looked up at Mia apologetically. "Well," Stacy interuppted the awkward silence, "Mia I want you to help Annabeth get freshened up for dinner she came all the way from California today." I gagged a little but held it back. She is repulsive, she's a condescending pig who needs to get set straight. "Yes ma'am." Oh my God what the hell! "You know Stacy I think you should help us get ready," I smiled broadly at her she flipped her hair cockily and smiled encouraging me to go on, "You can help us put our hair in pigtails! Then we can give you a makeover! We can do your makeup too! Oh Mia wouldn't that be fun! Then we can help you wax your mustache! It's growing in a little thick on the left side and now that I think about it the right side too! How far away is dinner it's going to a pretty long time to hack that jungle off!" I squealed in mock delight. Mia was on the floor laughing so hard I thought that she was on the brink of pissing herself. Stacy looked like she was going to rip my head off before the insecure little girl took over. She covered her upper lip and dashed out of the door. I peeped my head out of the door and called down the hallway, "No? Kay cool beans." by then Mia had composed herself and stood up. "I like you Annabeth you're freaking HILARIOUS! Nobody's ever mouthed off like that before except for of course Percy Jackson. Oh which reminds me you should probably get ready dinner's in 20 minutes." Mia seems cool minus all the yelling at her nonexistent boyfriend. "Thank you. I can't stand people like that they're repulsive." I made a gagging face and grabbed a towel and my toiletries. "I'm going to go take a quick shower then we can go." Mia nodded. I shut the door and locked it. I started the shower and that's when I started to cry. Showers only make me cry because its the only place that I'm submerged in complete privacy. I dug through my bag looking for the razors I desperatly needed. **(A/N I was a cutter so I know exactly how this feels and I actually did this I was also addicted to drugs so when Percy and Annabeth are using or cutting it's going to be pretty graphic)** I stripped down to nothing inspecting my arms for any infections. That's all that I'm worried about when I cut, infections ew. I climbed into the steaming hot shower grasping my razors tightly against my hand just light enough so that it wouldn't draw blood. I laid down feeling the coolness of the tub against my back and the heat of the water beating down on my body. Silent tears welled up in my eyes. I only had ten minutes to do this. I brought the blade up to my forearm and pressed applying more pressure and rubbing it back and forth until the heavenly red spots popped up everywhere. I decided this one was going to be deep, deep enough to leave a permanent scar. Of course it hurt, I'm not going to say that it doesn't hurt. It hurts like a bitch! When my dad asked me why I cut I told him all the things wroung with my life, I told him that I was in emotional pain but I didn't tell him I considered cutting a trade. A twisted and evil trade that somehow soothed me. Honestly it's like a balancing act it's my body's way of telling me your not worth anything, you're in so much pain that more pain will balance it out. And it's true that's how you feel, you think that self-inflicted pain with make your emotional pain better and the emotional pain makes your physical pain feel okay again but of course like any trade you will need to keep trading to make your life balanced. That's what cutting is to me. It's like a full time job. Most kids my age don't realize that they are ruining their life with this addiction. I do, I see the dangers but I didn't realize until it was too late I was already hooked. Blood and tears ran down my body making my emotional pains feel better but unfortanatly it won't last for long.

"Annabeth hurry up you've been in there fifteen minutes we're going to be late." Mia yelled pounding on the door. "Coming!" I yelled switching the water off and getting out of the tub and wrapping the towel around my wet body. Blood was dripping down my arm and fast. "Shit!" I mumbled grabbing a washcloth and applying pressure to the fresh wound. It's not like this hasn't happened before. Once my arm stopped bleeding I pulled my clothes on pulled my long wet blonde hair into a ponytail, running a tiny bit of mascara over my eylahes and adding a dab of lipgloss to my lips. I looked up in the mirror and discovered my eyes were red and puffy. I quickly grabbed my concealer and fixed that little problem. I opened the door, Mia was on her bed staring at a picture she looked up at me sadly, her face brightened up and asked me excitedly, "Ready to go? Oh I'm so excited for you to meet all the people here! I can't wait for you to meet Percy! Oh you're going to love you but he might be a little grumpy and irritable and also if he looks sick it's normal. They took away his cocaine and heroin about two days ago. He's going through withdrawal which I heard totally sucks." I nodded and she lead the way down the corridor towards folowing the arrows said Dining Hall. We walked grabbed our food and went to find a seat. This place looked scary and haunted on the outside but on the inside it's actually pretty nice and big. "Mia!" Somebody yelled from across the room. We turned our hads and walked in that direction. When we reached the table four people were sitting there all laughing and talking except for one. He sat there hunched over his food not even touching it. I could tell by his build that he was tall and muscular but not intimidating. Even though you could tell not to get on his bad side. His shaggy black hair looked like he rolled out of bed not even caring but somehow it looks good on him. After seeing Luke put so much shit in his hair and wearing bedazzled shirts all the time like a Jersey Shore character it was nice to see a guy that looked like he didn't even try he was just naturally cute. "Annabeth I would like you to meet some of my friends that are very rare to find in this shitty place. That's Michelle White, she's awesome but really shy."She waved and I smiled, "That's Travis and Connor Stoll, they're perverts and they like them blonde and short and pretty much.. you so watch out." They rolled there eyes it was eay to tell they were identical twins. One of them stood and gave me a hug that I didn't return, "and that is Percy." Mia said pointing over to boy that was extremely adorable. "Yo, Jackson say hi to the pretty lady. I'm Connor by the way the handsomest out of the two of us" He said wiggling his eyebrows awkwardly. "Yeah well last time I checked you pretty much looked exactly the same sooo..." I said somewhat confused. Percy looked and I saw his eyes for the first time. His perfect sea green eyes that I felt like I was drowning in and I didn't even care. He smiled a smile that made my heart melt. His smile and eyes together sent tingles down my spine. "Holy shit the kid smiled. I havent seen him smile since they took his drugs away." One of the Stoll brothers said. I looked down and sat across from Percy and began to eat. He continued to smile at me while I continued to look down and eat my food. I could feel everyone's eyes at the table trained on us. "Well nice to meet all of you but I'm finished and it's been a hectic day I think I'm going to go to bed now." I stood up and so did Percy. He looked at Mia "Is it ok if I walk her back to the dorm? I promise I'll take good care of her." He asked Mia jokingly. She nodded her head ferociously.

We were walking through the hallways absentmindedly. "Yeah I know I've only been here for about three hours but um.. I'm pretty sure we're no where near my dorm." Percy smiled "It took you long enough I know I just want to get to know you better. Here I'll start my name is Percy Jackson I'm from New York born and raised my dad skipped out on me and my mom when I was a baby. That screwed me up pretty bad. Ummm... I'm 17 and I'm a junior at Goode High School. When I was 15 I started to use drugs mosty weed with friends my mom was too caught up in all of her drama that she really didn't have time to ya'know see the signs. My problem got progressively worse over the years . Eventually I went from smoking pot to snorting cocaine and shooting up on heroin. I overdosed died for three and a half minutes so my mom sent me here. I feel bad though that I have to put my mom through that. Things were finally looking up for her she had a fiancee that wasn't toatally disgusting. She was happy and my stupid ass had to screw that up for her." He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and then I smiled. And he smiled back.

"Why did you tell me that? You barely know me." I asked asked laughing lightly. "I dont know. You just seem like someone I can trust. I feel like you know how I feel. Don't worry I'm not pressuring you to tell me your story right here and now. That's not my entire story you know it's just a summary." he laughed. "I do know how you feel but you're right I'm not going to tell you my story right now. Someday I will though. I'm not one to trust, but I feel like maybe we can build up some trust." I giggled. Oh my God! I just giggled I haven't giggled since freshman year! "But I can tell you that my name is Annabeth Chase I'm from San Fransico, California born and raised" I said mocking him he smiled and looked down at me "I'm 16 and a junior. The rest comes later" I said smiling and right after the last word came out of my mouth I took off sprinting down the hallway. "Hey wait Annabeth where are you going!" I heard Percy call after me and run after me. I turned a corner laughing uncontrollably until I ran into a furious looking Stacy. About three seconds later Percy ran into my back causing me to stagger forward. Percy reacted swiftly by grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me back against his chest draping his arms over the front of my body. "What's up Stacy?" Percy asked putting his chin on top of my head. I just realized how much taller he is than me. I'm 5"3' and he has to be pushing 6"2'. The look that Stacy was giving me made me cringe deeper into Percy's inviting warm chest. "Curfew was 10 minutes ago Mr. Jackson what are you and Miss Chace doing out of your dorms?" Stacy asked through gritted teeth. "It's stuffy in those rooms Stac it's hot up in there. You guys should get that fixed. Crazy people is bad sweaty crazy people is even worse." I smiled and laughed lightly "Get back in your rooms right now." Stacy said grinning like if she didn't she was going to kill us. Percy let me go and walked away I followed closely behind. "Does she always do that?" Percy looked at me confused "Do what?" he asked "She acts all superior and her condescending tone pretty much makes me want to slap her in the face." He laughed "Pretty much, I don't what it is but...I hate her." I laughed as we walked up to my dorm "Well" I sighed "this is me." I said pausing in front of the door turning around leaning against the door and looking up at Percy. He smiled and so did I. "Tomorrow I'm going to give you a tour of this place. Not the kind that Stacy gives the kind that isn't boring as hell." I smiled wider, probably looking like more of a lunatic than I already am. "Ok well I'm not going to get up before nine unless I have to." He looked at me playfully, "I think you might have to I mean look at this place it's pretty big." he said looking around mockingly. "It's gonna take a little while." I laughed a little at his adorable face as he looked around with a light pout formed perfectly on his cute lips. _What are you thinking Annabeth_ I scolded myself before replying in a whisper "I think we'll manage." I smiled before slipping into the door not giving him a chance to respond. The lights were off and Mia was snoring lightly. I glanced at the clock and realized it was 10 o'clock at night. I sighed with content and got into my pajamas before climbing into bed. I fell asleep thinking about Percy. _You haven't smiled this much in years. _That little voice in the back of my head that's usually pessimistic said.

**I hope you guys liked the first real chapter of this story! It will get better I promise. Well yeah like I said in the story when Annabeth is cutting and Percy is using drugs (which they will further on in the story) it will be pretty graphic because I experianced it all. I forgot to put the disclaimer and the mood music on top so here it is right here. I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians and the mood music is Looking Up by Paramore. Thanks for reading. :)**

**Neonpancakesyrup**


End file.
